Bleeding-edge Politics!

We here at the Morning Haha know that our attempts at humor bring tears to even the most hardened of war-criminals. Nevertheless, we do believe that it is the ‘attempt’ that matters. Success still eludes us, but we keep trying. Maybe, a change in strategy is what we need.

A change in strategy is exactly what helped Mamata Banerjee achieve her objectives. Tears are the nuclear weapon of human emotions. As Mr. Pranab Mukherjee (and men from around the world, including the Arctic) will most definitely attest to, the moment the mushroom cloud of tears erupts, logic, rationality, good-and-bad, right-and-wrong are the first victims to be decimated. Resources, history, precedence and planning die of radiation fallout. Eventually a nuclear winter sets in.

These bleeding-edge techniques have usually been confined to the domestic scene. This is probably the first time in recent history that this weapon has been deployed in the political landscape.

Our political pundits agree that this may soon become a weapon of choice for the politically inclined. We predict that we will soon see tears being employed in courts, parliaments, TV studios (Wait! We already have that!), processions and legislative assemblies. This is just the beginning. Sobb Sobb.

Not an Intelligence failure … they said!

“The Pune blast was not the result of any intelligence failure but an 'insidious' planting of a bomb in a 'soft' target establishment, Union Home Minister P Chidambaram said.”

Whoa, not so fast Eddie!

If this is not a failure, I shudder to think what would an actual intelligence failure be.

Maybe we are being too hard on the old guy. Maybe this was a success after all. Maybe they alerted the local authorities a couple of days in advance. Nope that did not happen. Maybe they asked prime targets in Pune to be on the alert. That did not happen either.

Maybe they did warn the old, respected home minister in time for him to take cover under his desk, in New Delhi. Probable.

For the benefit of those who are linguistically challenged, like yours truly, ‘insidious’ means ‘beguiling’, ‘treacherous’ and ‘producing serious harm’. This proves that the home ministry is hard at work to come up with (not plans to counter terror attacks) better worded statements post the mayhem.

We need to give credit where it is due. And it is definitively due here. We were not dished out the stale “I salute the indomitable spirit of the people of City X”. This is a bigger relief than you think, by the way!

Yet another IIT graduate lay dead, while our intelligence agencies celebrated their ‘success’ with the home ministry. Yet another terror attack, while ‘Aman ki Asha’ continues to spread ‘Asha’ through its song, dance and fart sessions!