Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Life Partner - The reluctant review!

Spoiler Warning – If you have spent hard earned money to see this movie, I would call you the 2nd most dumb person on this planet. Dumbest being, yours truly, who spent to watch this atrocity and is now blogging about it. If you haven’t seen this, I would urge you read this post instead! All plot bumps and potholes have been revealed.

Like the movie, let me do a bit of character development.

Hero #1: Vertically challenged, dark and effeminate star kid; he plays the role of an orthodox Gujarati boy, whose objective in life is to get married. You admire the single mindedness of this character. We movie goers usually think about a couple of other things, like breathing and eating, not this bloke.

Dysfunctional Dad: An uber-othrodox Gujarati and dad of Hero #1, he maintains a strict regime of oily hair-dos and oilier breakfast in his family. Streaks of Utpal Dutt from Golmaal appear in this character, in the way he protects his manliness, aka his moustache.

Hero #2: Not vertically challenged, not dark and effeminate star kid; he plays the role of a banker, who drives a Maserati convertible and gets promotions on a daily basis without working.

Hero #3: Actor-turned-MP-turned-Actor, fighting the battle of the bulge, double-chins, dark-circles and other thingamajigs, plays the role of a Super - Divorce Lawyer. He usually does song and dance routines, when he is not peddling divorces.

Now onto the story! For the first time in history of blogging has any blogger gone so far, revealing the entire story of a movie. Hold your breath!

Act I – Opens with Hero #2 driving his Maserati on an airport runway. In the car are his girlfriend and Hero #1.

Hero #2: Let’s overtake this plane so that I can kiss my girlfriend!

Hero #1: Don’t you have office tomorrow?

Hero #2: No, they gave me a promotion. (Song and Dance follows).

Hero #1: Then let’s go to Gujarat and get married?

Hero #2: Ok. (Marriages, more songs and dances follow)

Act II – Opens with Dysfunctional Dad reprimanding his daughter-in-law for commenting on a stock price.

Dysfunctional Dad: So what, if you have a degree from IIM Ahmedabad? Waiters here in Cape Town have degrees from IIM Ahmedabad. (Score: Life Partner 1; IIM A: 0)

Wife of Hero #1: Do not insult my father! (Hero #1 promptly gives her one-tight-slap!)

Hero #2 to his wife: I am sick of doing all the donkey-work, washing clothes and cleaning potties! Why don’t you do something?

Wife of Hero #2: Who does all the partying around here? Hah? Who? Answer that!

Hero #3: I can see business coming my way! (Divorces, sad songs and item numbers follow)

Act III – Opens with Hero #3 getting married. Please refer to item number for Hero #3’s love story.

Wife of Hero #2: I will blow everyone here at this marriage party. (With a bomb strapped to her, of course!)

Dysfunctional Dad: My eyes are opened, forgive me son (Hero #1)!

Hero #1 to his wife: Quick marry me before she blows us up! (Wife from IIM A agrees!) (Score: Life Partner 2; IIM A: 0)

Hero #2 to his wife (Who is threatening to blow everyone!): Ok I will do the donkey-work! (Wife drops the bomb and marries Hero #2!)

The End!

You can start breathing now!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Captures from Singapore

Vantage Point

Urban Sunset

Stroll by the river



Monday, August 3, 2009

My favorite snowy movies

These are the movies which make you feel colder in a warm and fuzzy kind of a way! Makes you wish you had a fireplace. These are the choicest, the best snowy movies that will leave your teeth chattering! The following list is in reverse order of preference.

Snow capped mountains and mountains of editing errors, make for good watching. Watch out for the boom mikes. A few laughs are always good.

Another movie featuring snow capped mountains and an action packed thriller.

A movie that gives you the tickles. You begin to feel sorry for the bad guys in the end, and cold!

A classic, what can I say, one of the best movies ever.

Even though this is an animated movie, the storyline, the characters and the setting all come together fantastically.

This movie is 30 degrees below zero. Add crime to the mix and you have potent combination. A must watch, curl up in a quilt and set the air conditioner on high for best effects!

This movie will chill you to the bone. Exotic locales, trains, crime, suspense and tons of snow. A combination that can rarely be beaten. This would end up being one of my favorite train movies as well. Look out for that list!

These are the movies that you would watch if the summer in Delhi is getting too hot to handle or if you are in the mood to travel to Siberia without getting nasty frost bites! Let me know if there are other movies which you think should be on the list.