Happening Happens to a Hapless me!

‘The Happening’ happened to happen to me this weekend. My weekend became that much less happening as a result of that. M Night Shyamalam – I guess something’s happened to him. His first few movies received rave reviews and all the praise for being different. But since then he has been constantly moving away from mainstream cinema. So much so, that now he is appealing to vegetative matter with his new movie ‘The Happening’.

Now comes the mandatory ‘Rescue Warning’! If you are about to watch the movie, read on and spend the money you save on Pan Parag!

Haha, the story starts with a constipated Mark Wahlberg (Entirely unbelievable as a teacher) who teaches his kindergarten class about the correct steps to a successful experiment. Wish Shyam-babu knew about experimentation! He wouldn’t have done this to us. 

Well the story is about something that happens (It ought to, it’s called ‘The Happening’) in the north eastern states in US. Something is causing people to stop ‘dead’ in their tracks, take a few steps back, and then kill themselves. (Actually this was a clever trick to save special effects money.) 

‘The Happening’ happens on. People are chucking themselves off buildings, shooting themselves, throwing themselves onto oncoming tractors and trains. Apparently they are not a happy lot. Mark Wahlberg and Zoey Deschanel decide to escape (Duh!). Their kitchen squabbles however continue in the face of suicide-mania. They are to suicide-mania, like Rambo is to wars. Been there done that. 

The story meanders like a drunk on a Saturday night. It is later learnt that trees can release toxins in the air that can cause people to stab themselves with knitting needles. (‘Wow’ moment. Pause to admire). You get to see lots of people standing still and trees swaying in the wind. No tomato ketchup has been harmed in the making of this movie. (Too clever by half – Shyam-babu has saved a bundle on special effects. But he isn’t getting this one past us!)

Well someone had to clobber the meandering drunk of a story! And that happens as well. The movie ends, 80 minutes late, (Movie is about 90 minutes) when all of these ‘happenings’ stop without reason. And we have a logical conclusion to the kitchen squabble thrown in.

This is a typical you-kill-my-family-I-kill-your-family revenge saga, with apples and oranges in the lead role. This is my good deed for the day, saved the dwindling readers of my blog some money!