Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Arrests not mandatory now! – What, come again?

Criminals rejoice! This is the Government of India’s new-year gift to the world of outlaws! No longer are arrests mandatory for crimes that that have a maximum penalty of 7 years or less. Now this is stupendous! In the wake of 26/11 I was under the impression that laws would be tightened! Link

Haha. Double Haha! Quoting Harry from the movie “Dumb and Dumber”: “Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this…and totally redeem yourself!” 

This was after Llyod exchanges their van, modified to look like a sheep-dog, with a juvenile scooter. Well the GoI has done something just as brilliant and redeemed themselves! 

With this solar-system changing law in place, police chases just became obsolete. (Movies will now be a whole lot more boring!) Now the criminals don’t need to run after committing a crime! They can flag an auto, say tata-bye-bye police uncle, take care, and go and relax at home. Crime is after all a stressful profession. 

I can visualize the following crime scene now … 

Pappu-pager, strolling out of a local bank after robbing it of a couple of lakhs. 2 police jeeps from World War II skid to a stop right next to him. A young dashing, pot bellied inspector, jumps out. 

Inspector Dayaram: “Police ne building to charo taraf se gher liya hai, Aapne aap ko kanoon ke hawale kar do. Apne hathiyaar phenk do!" 

Pappu-pager: “Hathiyaar?” (Throws down his pager) 

Inspector Dayaram (voice trembling): “Ruko, nahi to main goli chala dunga” 

Pappu-pager: “Haan haan ok, ruk jata hoon, tension maat lo. Kya hai? Kaiko khali pili ka hungama karta hai?” 

Inspector Dayaram: “Main tumko Dafa 393 (Robbery) ke tahet geraaftaar karta hoon” 

Pappu-pager (Picking up his pager): “Abbe bina internet ke PC, woh din gaye, chaal mere liye auto bula!” 

Havildaar Bhonduram whispering to Inspector Dayaram: “Saar, abhi abhi naya kanoon aya hai. Bole to ekdum latest. Geraftaar nahi kar sakte. ‘Notice of Appearance’ issue kijiye saarji” 

Inspector Dayaram: “Haan kya? Pappu – yeh lo tumhara ‘Notice of Appearance’. Thank you.” 

Pappu-pager: “Ok, ok, agli baar galti maat karma. Chal, chal auto bula” 

Inspector Dayaram: “Haan saar” Shouts to a nearby auto driver: “Aae auto, Chembur chalega kya?” 

Next Post: Top 5 reasons why this law was put in place! 

PS: Happy New Year!

1 comment:

purplishFLOYD said...

AS THEY SAY "IT HAPPENS ONLY IN INDIA"..
Although I havent gone through the bill reading the link posted here its baffling as to how:
a) How this law passed without much debate (or is it?? since most political parties rely on criminals to win elections)
b) How media didn't make a big deal outta this(would have made an interesting story)

Well looks like I can execute all my murder plans now!!